Love at First Sight... in the most unromantic environment!

“Ms. Quen, wake up, it’s finished. You gave birth to a baby boy!”, a Chinese nurse waking me up gently, with a smile.

I’m not Ms. Quen but that’s how she pronounced my real name, well, no one can ever pronounce it so I don't mind.

I heard him screaming and crying for something only a mother knows what: he was suddenly out of the womb and hearing unfamiliar voices, different language (Chinese).

This was originally posted on 19th of August 2008.

I tried to lift my hands but I can’t. After almost a whole day of labour which eventually lead to emergency caesarian, I didn’t have energy at all. So, I used little energy left in me to speak up and say,

“It’s okay baby, Mommy is here”.

Wow! for the first time I said those words: baby, Mommy.

I’m a Mommy!

I was so glad that when he was still in my womb I always talked to him, sang for him and played music for him so that when he gets out he will recognize me, with my voice.

He stopped crying at once, no kidding! And bobbed his head to look where is that familiar voice coming from. For the first time, we met and looked into each others eyes.

Oh my God! He is beautiful! I fell in love instantly.

So, it’s true! Love at first sight can happen ...even in the most unromantic environment. This is a couple of minutes' event that I will treasure and nothing or no one can take away that precious moment from me and my son.

The nurse carrying my baby put him on my chest long enough for us to stare at each other before I fell into deep sleep again.

Elijah

Meet the source of my strength to live, laugh and dance: Elijah Quance, my one and only son.

This photo was taken on his 8th birthday, 11th of April, at Fun Ranch (a day after his birthday party).


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So What?

Na na na na na
Na na na na na
I guess I just lost my husband
I don't know where he went
So I'm gonna drink my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent (nope)
I've got a brand new attitude,
And I'm gonna wear it tonight
I'm gonna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight

Na na na na na
I wanna start a fight
Na na na na na
I wanna start a fight!

[Chorus]
So,

This is my special ring tone for someone I do not particularly want to talk to for the past couple of years. Oh well... it's good to feel something no matter what or how it was :D So what?! I just wish that I'm a Rock Star like Pink @.@

So what I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm havin more fun
And now that were done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

Unh Check my flow Uohhh

The waiter just took my table
And gave it to Jessica Simps
(Shit! )
I guess I'll go sit with drum boy
At least he'll know how to hit
(Oops)
What if this song's on the radio,
Then somebody's gonna die! haha
I'm going to get in trouble,
My ex will start a fight

Na na na na
He's gonna to start a fight
Na na na na
We're all gonna get in a fight!

[Chorus]
So,
So what I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm havin more fun
And now that were done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

You weren't there
You never were
You want it all but that's not fair
I gave you life
I gave my all
You weren't there, you let me fall

[Chorus]
So, so what I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm havin more fun
And now that were done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

No no
No no, I don't want you tonight
You weren't there
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

(Wooohooooooo! )

Ba da da da pffftt

(Lyrics courtesy of Lyrics Mode)

Would you describe a beautiful woman like this?

Took a mental note of how an actor, in a subtitled Asian film, described a beautiful woman (it was being shown on the bus that I was on last week). It was something like this:

Hair like a black wave Forehead like a moon Eyes like Bermuda triangle Lips like a barrack of horses

:D

Magic in Forgiveness... Leads to Happiness

Have you ever felt that magical feeling of forgiveness? I have. Truly.

The magical feeling did not happen overnight. I went through the unimaginable emotional pain and horrors of depression, anxiety, fear of being alone, being a prisoner in my own invisible yet seemingly unbreakable wall of regrets and, worst of all, unwillingness to move on with my life.

It took quite a long time before I finally decided that it was time to get up, clear negative thoughts off my head and live a beautiful life meant for me with my one and only son.

Whatever was done in the past can never be undone. Whatever was said can never be unsaid. Forgiveness is the only solution to go on.

Overcoming emotional pain is not impossible if we address the subject of forgiveness. Forgiving yourself for every mistakes done and forgiving the others as well who wronged you, shall eventually mean releasing the negative energy that heavily cloaks your heart.

Remembering who you are deep within is necessary in forgiving. The courage to get up and embrace the power and magic of forgiveness will lead to empowerment.

Whatever the reason is for your emotional pain, remember this: "This too shall pass."

Life must go on! Do not let yourself be the prisoner of the past. Only you can release yourself and no one else.

If you need to forgive someone, do so. If you want forgiveness from someone, then ask for it. Then get on with your life, whether you got the forgiveness that you seek from others or not.

Now, I can face the world with a genuine smile. I decided that once and for all, my happiness does not depend upon other people. Hence, I am no longer a prisoner of my own past because I have forgiven others.

This is the magic in forgiveness: happiness!

Remembering who you are deep within is necessary in forgiving. The courage to get up and embrace the power and magic of forgiveness will lead to empowerment.